been conflicted in regards to different things lately. it seems i’m always playing the devils advocate to myself, and i’m a bit too good at it.
godzilla would NEVER attack here.
also thinking about how well i know people. and how its not as well as i both thought and hoped. it seems strange, and everyones a stranger.
well, my birthday came and went without a big hullabaloo. i was pleased that, for the most part, my friends remembered. i guess its something you take for granted until everyone forgets.
special thanks to K. for prodding and reminders.
talked to my mother for a few minutes on my day. she started crying again. as hard as i try to be about it, i still get kind of soft and broken when she cries to me. i wonder sometimes if i will see her again.
like more than a few other people on here, this year hasnt been turning out to be my best. i think i’m stuck in one of those years where i shouldn’t have left the house. this is not to say i havent met some amazing people that spark curiosity constantly, and value them. but aside from that, i’m ready to trade this year for a carton of smokes and some yoohoo.
i’m getting hassled on a daily basis about my approaching birthday. what do i want? where do i want to go? etc. etc. i dont know. hard to know what or where anymore. punchdrunk maybe.
been living the life of a hermit the last few weeks. not too much socializing (aside from a bbq/kareoke nightmare saturday). just finding it harder and harder to want to connect with anyone. or i want to, but dont feel like in the end it would be worth the effort. and i dont feel depressed or anything, not having problems like that right now. its funny how so often we complain about not understanding other people, and i’m sometimes having trouble understanding myself fully. it’s not like i’m a complex person, i think i’m fairly base and easy ( ? )
after remembering there was never a solution to this, here you are!
problem solved. thought not visually more appealing, the first equation proved true.
bg + fg x ul = er/od % pl = ch
thank you and goodnight!
and then sometimes you think you’re like a puzzle, and the pieces are close to being put together.
but will you like the picture you make?
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