Save Lando

thought i had last night around 2 am while eating a piece of pizza:

gremlins? midnight? what the hell, its always going to be midnight somewhere, you’re going to tell me that they have this internal clock that tells them when its midnight in any given time zone? or maybe their all on GMT time. i refuse to believe that because its 2 am in oklahoma that i can’t sneak the little mogwai a jello pudding pop or something. im not sure why i was thinking about gremlins, someone brought them up the other day, so it made them fresh. perhaps i was thinking that if i had a late night chunk of pizza that i would magically turn into something different (maybe someone with a job. stranger things have happened).

so i went out today to purchase the new midnight movies cd (who’s music so graciously resonates here). and after the 4th stop, the mall (which i hate anyway), my car wouldnt start. fucking great. it was the same thing that happened the last time i went to get a haircut. problem either stemming from the battery or starter or, god forbid, something burned through my fusable links (which isnt an STD, no matter how dirty is sounds) again. i’m no mechanic, but i know my car halfway decent, and i was stumped as to what the problem was. and this is not even mentioning that the cd was nowhere to be found. i had to beg ‘the Swede’ to buy it on amazon.com for me, so i’m waiting a few more days. thanks again swede, you rock.

so, pretty unlucky eh? i’m expecting by the end of the night to be stricken violently with a wasting disease. i’m hoping its something messy that some poor soul will have to clean up later on. i refuse to die in the bathtub where the mess can be washed away easily. i would be willing to die on the toilet though. i figure, hey, it was good enough for

right? plus, imagine the stories that people could tell their friends. “you missed all the fun today honey! i went in to do a cleanup job, and the big ole guy was just sitting there on the shitter, dead as a doornail. his cat was just staring at the body and oh my god, let me tell you about his shower curtain…”

i must have layed in bed for at least 2 hours saturday night worrying. for some reason stress is getting to me, and i wasnt handling it very well at all. and it was over nothing that i consider a giant problem, just a minor headache over going to an oklahoma tag agency, which always seems to stress me out. seing as how i could do nothing about it at that moment, i’m not sure why it was getting to me like it was.

its been, for the mostpart, a lazy week. piddling on the computer, and watching baseball games that would have been better unwatched. i’ve been staying up far too late, and in turn sleeping until noon. this habit must be broken, it doesnt feel right rolling out of bed when most peoples days are half over (not that it really matters to me, but maybe i’d feel more productive if i could get motivated to do more than clean house and pay bills.

i’m ashamed of all of you. laughing at poor dwarfs plights and difficulty wiping thier own behind. whatever happened to the moral high ground? not that i know anything about it, so really that is a pretty good question. what happened to it? is it still there? say hi for me, i hear its nice (but completely boring).

i’m looking forward to this coming weekend. its the beginning of the college football season, and the beginning of my saturdays with the family. see, its family tradition to all get together around the football game and have a family day. i miss those, too often i’m sitting around my house on a saturday, wishing i had something (anything) to do. my man of leisure leaves alot to be desired when it comes to loneliness. sure its fun and all, but many times the only one i get to talk to is Holden (and he’s not much of a conversationalist. he’s also now twice the size he was in this pic…they grow so quickly).

and jesus, could this entry get any more boring? does it sound like i’m meandering to you also? i feel like i could sit here and babble for hours. HOURS PEOPLE. blah blah blah blah, my life is still uninteresting and this is just a stop-gap blog entry so i dont totally feel like i’m neglecting things. blah blah.

i think i decided somewhere along the line that fighting neighbors are fun. well, unless they’re beating the shit out of each other (like the Hobbit and his Mrs.).

in what appears to be yet another in the long line of fighting neighbors, the couple across the hall got into it AGAIN. the male has been locked out of the apartment again. its too funny, and it seems to happen at least once a week. because i was so amused by their display, i turned the televison down to listen to the

“girl, i want to be wit you!”

garbage, followed by a furious round of trying to kick the door in. it was marginally more interesting than the game show i was watching, so why not. i think it took @ two hours for him to get in. wow, see, thats how i know that either A) He loves her or B) He’s got nowhere else to go (not even a van down by the river). were it me, i would have given in and left far sooner. i think my patience for that kind of situation was wasted years ago. i’m much more likely now to just say ‘fuck it’. im not sure what that says about me. do i just not care as much anymore? could i possibly be more jaded and cynical than i previously imagined?

Nah.

i dont know what happened thursday night. an attack from a personals site started. i started getting mail. and more mail. and more…. like what did i do? did i somehow trigger some sort of pheremone when i wasnt looking? it has to be the shampoo. i switched shampoos today. its the only difference. i might need to go back to the store and buy in bulk. it’s like every woman with the means finally reacted the way they should have.

finally my female minions are spreading the word. and about damn time ladies, we were nearing defcon 3.

it’s been a semi-tough day so far. ‘Machismo’ had his DHS appointment today to sort his child support payments, and how much his checks are to be garnished.

he’s pretty much been sliding by as is, just barely making it. now, they’re taking almost $400 from him a month. its pretty apparent that he’s been broken. i’m sitting here, not 10 feet from him while he’s trying to talk to his mother about it. he’s in tears. its a hard sight to take, poor guy. i’ve never seen him break like this, he’s such a ‘tough guy’ that crying seems a joke to anyone who knows him. he’s trying his damnedest to figure out how to pay his bills to stay alive. i’d like to tell him to look on the bright side, but the next 17 years of his life dont look so terribly bright.

if that doesnt make you think twice about using a rubber (or three) and the pill, i dont know what would… well, flipper babies, but i dont think thats too common…

“Says You, Asshole.”

i saw on the news that the Heat index here right now is 107 fahrenheit. jesus christ! the sun isnt even that hot! i think somewhere along the line our seasons got messed up. summer is supposed to be over Oklahoma. seriously. you cant expect me to leave the house if its that damn hot.

i did get out for awhile yesterday, went to a mall of all places. i know, i know. i hate malls. i just had to get out of the house for a little while, i was going insane. i, also, was out of so-da, and you know that just cant happen. picked up some more, along with the Great Escape. now i just have to find a few hours to enjoy it.

i was tired of watching the olympics. i’m kidding of course, how could you get tired of the 200M Olympic Potato Sack Race? why wouldnt anyone want to watch Freestyle Macrame? and I may have to wait until 4am, but i’ll be damned it i miss the Sheepherding Relay, i hear the Mongolians are killer. ‘Baaaaaaaaaaah’

ok, enough of that. you know, the note made me wonder. how many people here are true to themselves? in everyday life the vast majority of the public lives a lie right? we would never ever act the same way in public as we do in private, and maybe no one but ourselves knows who we really are. how many people are writing these damn diaries and living a lie? so deathly afraid that someone will find out ANYTHING about them that they’ll go to the ends of the earth to hide who and what they really are. writing about things that they dont even care about, to what. get attention?

how can people live like that? how do people one day get to the point where they say to themselves “hey, I cant be like I want anymore. it’s not cool, its not fashionable. I have to change so other people will love me, even if it means i wont be able to love myself” i think we all see other people do that, right? even if we dont see ourselves doing it.