Save Lando

i was informed sunday night, that gay pride weekend just happened. i didnt even know. a shame really, i could have at least, even though not gay, got some use out of my pink shirt. the customer that let me know looked completely worn out, but smiling, so i attributed this to him having an awesome weekend. which i was having also, until i had to go back to work sunday. anymore, its almost depressing when the weekends over. Loopy goes home, and its back to being quiet for a few days. boo.

~~~

random things happened at my work. said to a customer “you dont know where my fingers have been”, before said customer decided on a replacement item. probably didnt help that i sniffed my fingers after i said it.

oh well. also, a 10 year-old girl came in with her father. and for the life of me, i cant figure why he’d let her wear a t-shirt saying “Latin girls do it better!”. i wanted so badly to ask what latin girls DID better, but i was afraid that her father would have stabbed me or something. seriously.

also overheard a conversation by some wacked out christian fundies. something about how pornography of any kind turned people into child molesters. playboy mentioned specifically. i think i wrote about a radio add once about this very same subject. its a shame that these people are brainwashed into this train of thought. think of all the jobs pronography creates! its good for the economy. i mean, there can only be so many mardell christian stores. if anything, i would think that porno would have the opposite effect. too busy spanking it (or rubbing it) at home to get out and molest other people. hell, why waste time when you can molest yourself? of course, i wouldnt expect anything more from someone wearing this shirt:

and dont get me wrong. i write alot of anti-religious things, mostly vs. x-tian types. i dont have a problem with jesus. i love jesus. i’m still in awe of him being the last person to hit .400 in a season 60 years ago, and his work on will and grace has been phenomenal. its a shame he still hasnt won that emmy.

~~~

also, i’m a little excited about the new superman movie. i was never really big on superman, always opting to read and watch the much darker, much more brooding batman… until i realizied that i was super-dorky whitebread. seriously. boring and bland, no mystery, just like superman. i think it was that point (maybe 12 years old? that i decided to read more superman comics. yes i was a comic dork. fuck you.) so lately i’ve been reading up on the new flick.

evidently, lois lane (after superman left for 5 years) hooked up with someone else and had a kid. maybe i’m off my rocker here. but i’m having trouble believing that this woman

having a baby is a tad unbelievable. i mean, i can’t even imagine kate bosworth laying anything larger than a tic-tac sized shit for chrissakes. i saw ‘Win a date with Tad Hamilton’. dont laugh, it was on HBO and i was having my period or something. she had as much appeal in that movie as she has in any other. which is pretty much nil. no wonder superman is always getting called gay.

bet he had an awesome weekend.

a week later, i received a follow-up email telling me not to over think what she said. um, yeah. after knowing me for a solid 13 years, you’d think that you’d know its exactly what i would do. to the bitter end and edge of sanity. i think just the few of you who stop here know me to be that way, and half of you dont know me well enough to pick me out of a line-up.

see? i knew you’d all guess wrong.

she tried to diffuse the post saying that it wouldn’t have worked anyway because blah bah. and then said that she always thinks of me when she hears ‘Hey Jupiter’. at this point, i’m back to having no understanding about women. they are all crazy, and i feel lucky that my current lady is hiding that crazy exceptionally well.

Loopy’s been in Tennessee this week. if the calls and email are any indications, shes having a blast. almost wish i could be there with her. afraid that my social phobia thing would make me flip out. even smallish crowds arent too bad anymore, but thousands of unkempt, unbathed hippies would be too much. it’d be no longer than 5 hours before i started wondering why all these people weren’t at work, and if people on the freeway were even able to buy oranges anymore. haha. kidding, kidding. kidding because 95% of the people there are likely to be more successful at everything than i am.

i’ve been making small attempts to get my muse back, and flowing through ink pens. i used to write everyday because i had so many things in my head that needed to be purged, it was done out of necessity. principal. now, i’m not sure if i have enough to write about to fill a page in a month. true, most of the old writing was a gentle catharsis for some sort of anger or unhappiness, but it was still writing. is the reason i’m not writing as much have anything to do with me being happier, or more content? i dont know, you tell me. a sample:

roses are red
violets are blue
i hate myself and want to die
and
you do too…

i then broke down into tears, admitting how horrible and true it was. KIDDING! i didnt cry. holy crap, can you guys imagine having to put up with this like Kelly does? this doesnt even count me sniffing her finger. or me constantly tugging on her underwear. she really does deserve some sort of medal or something for patience.

evidently, people are tired of looking at larry the cable guy. welcome to my world!

in the past week, i’ve had 2 co-workers quit. so now, we’re 3 people short. more work for lando. hooray. i loathe work so much now, i didnt think it could get worse. surprise! guess working more hours is worse. not looking forward to having even less time to spend with Loopy. this next week should suck even more (is that possible?), given the fact that her and ticktrix are going to ‘the Roo’ on weds, and staying gone all weekend. i was even prematurely bummed about this one.

got a note from an old friend recently. one woman i’d probably consider my ‘first love’. its strange, how even so many years later, things like that can affect you. you drive yourself to the brink of emotional disaster trying to figure out where and how things went wrong, blaming yourself the entire way for every little thing. you finally make your peace with the situation and ten years later you get an email. i dont exactly know the motivation behind it, but its easily befuddled me.

i can’t help but wonder if she’s going through that period of her life where you attempt to tie up your loose ends. you know what i mean (i hope?), when you just try and settle everything before you feel like you can move on and ahead. i guess some of the things she felt like discussing were things i really needed answers for way back when. but after a certain length of time, i let them go. finding answers to ‘why’ just werent as important as knowing that ‘why’ever, or for whatever reasons, things went the way they went. there is sense in crying over spilled milk, i suppose, but like it, there’s also an expiration date.

aren’t i clever.

i responded with the most honest answer i could muster. “i don’t know how to respond to this right now.” and i don’t. there was no proposition of any sorts. she’s happily married and i’m happily annoying the shit out of Loopy right now. it just seems like some weird, convoluted mess. one that parallels an episode of the twilight zone more than its intended rubik’s cube.

it’s late. i should get some sleep.