i’m forcing myself to sit down and write. i apologize for the impending drivel, and how long it took to actually get it posted. hopefully i’ll write more soon. it’s coming up fast on the week where i’m in that mood. so now, like always, i have snippets from work. be it overheard or slipped from my mouth, i found them noteworthy.
customer having a cell phone conversation. i hate cell phones, i take every opportunity to bother the conversation, while they waste my time. so while the male customer was apparently taking to his friend, i heard “how much is yours? 3 &1/2 inches?” and had to pipe in with “time to buy a sports car”. i got the blank stare and the guy left to get out of earshot.
i told a female customer to good night. she then says “you mean evening”. i laughed and replied “well, you ARE wearing pajamas, i’d just figured it was bedtime.” people that go shopping in pajamas, i just dont get it.
a regular customer of mine came into my store with an attractive lady. he, just being divorced, was single. i figured this was a new woman he was seeing. i asked him if the woman was his new girlfriend. “THAT’S MY SISTER!” he says. the only thing i could think to say was “so, like, that’s a no, right?”. i think it may have been a little too insulting unintentionally. later, i had a good laugh at it and decided to write about it here.
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non-work related. i had a dream about Loopy eating my earwax. and i dont mean just some tiny piece, in my dream the chunks of cerumen were massive. almost cheesewheel big. she actually had to cut off slivers to ingest them. not sure where this dream came from, but it was certainly disturbing. Loopy? please don’t eat my earwax. in other disgusting news, i was sick last week and had an idea for a nose tampon. best idea evar.
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ok. i’m sure no one needs a refresher on my awkward social phobia thing. Loopy had a friends housewarming party saturday night. i was also invited. people i have never met. i’m not sure when we stopped keeping track of who was up on that meter, but after that party, there’s no doubt that its me. shes lucky though, there’s really no one else for her to meet. it, like always, took a little convincing. it also didnt help that i was having horrendous back spasms all weekend. i gave in, and went.
but before we get there! i had decided to wear my pink shirt. hadn’t had a chance to wear it yet, and thought a party of Loop’s pals would be the perfect place. on the car ride over, after she mentioned that i forgot my “jesus is coming” button, i came up with a new occupation for myself. see, i never talk about my real job. it’s so much more fun to make ones up. ridiculous ones up for amusement. so that night, i decided that in my pink shirt, i was going to be an ebay guy. not just a regular one though. that night, i would collect and refurbish barbie dolls to sell on ebay. re-painting them and sewing them clothes for selling. it made me laugh, and would only go to add to the Loopy legend. she already has GEB, wouldnt it be fun to have EGAY also?
problem was, when the situation came up, i couldn’t keep a straight face. i cracked. damnit. but another funny thing? first person i see when i walk through the door? a dude wearing a pink shirt. now, it’s hilarious. it felt weird. somehow, all the other attendees seemed much older. i didnt have a bad time though. surprisingly, i spoke more than i had planned. there were a handful of very funny people that kept me well entertained throughout the night. she even turned to me and told me when it was time to go. hopefully, i didnt embarass the hell out of Loops.
when the weekend was over and She was going home for the week, i got a look from her. not sure if it was intentional or not, but it was very sad. i’m usually not the one to put anything into looks (especially around crazy people), but this one got through.
