its so hard to know exactly what to write about anymore. i dont even take many notes at work, ready for entries upon entries of retarded work stories for those of you fortunate enough not to work in hell with me. the notes have dwindled, and so has my frequency of writing. i guess the only comfort in that is knowing that while i’m not writing a ton, it could be worse. (oh snap)
i did take this note though. one night, i had an older male customer, obviously lonely. lonely because he was about 5′3″ tall, age 50-ish, and dressed like a cowboy from 1976, well, and because he was very very scary. within a minute of talking to him, i knew he’d make an appearance here. you know that anytime someone starts a conversation with “do you ever eat polish sausage?”, its going somewhere wrong. seriously, who asks a stranger this question? evidently, he had been having stomach pains. why? because for that week, he had had nothing to eat but polish sausage. this he told me, in a confidence that i’m surely betraying now. i’m sorry, mini marlboro man, but it has to be said. he kept telling me his problems and asked me if that was ‘weird’. his church prayer group for the night had been cancelled because he was the only one to show up. with dazzling conversation like this one, i can’t imagine why even jesus didnt show up for this one (even though he likes the sausage).
so he gets that im not really interested in being bff’s. he leaves, but COMES BACK the very next night. ugh. he had a little better luck the next night, people showed up for the church social. they had a good prayer, a band that played inspirational music for them, and cake with ice cream. he also admitted that the reason he liked the church meetings over something like a bar is, that people dont slip things in your drink at church. i, being an ass like always, said “unless its almond extract”. he didn’t get it. i smirked and danced away. ok, maybe i just walked. i did have a craving for grape kool-aid for the rest of the night though. it sucked.
my work has sucked some major goat dong lately. with the opening of a new business inside our current one, the days are getting longer. my boss has been hanging out at my store until i leave. he’s there my entire shift. it wouldn’t be so bad if he didnt have some crazy-ass a.d.d. where he tells me to do a million things all at once and bitches 5 minutes later when they’re not done. i gave Loops a miniature model of the car she really wants, and everytime someone bugs her at her work, i tell her to bitchslap them with said car. it’s called a ‘g-35′. current discussions involve me buying something of the same sort for me, but a much larger car, one that could be jagged and deadly. or better yet, i could wait in the parking lot in my actual car and run his little ass over. ahhh…fantasies…
good to see the good ole u.s. of a doing things in war that make us proud. christ, no wonder people hate us so much. where’s lee greenwood when you need him?
