Save Lando

i find it pretty amusing that people locally are shitting their pants over the way the country is going at the moment (while still being somewhat scared for how far things will fall). oklahoma is one of the most recession-proof states in the country, and now that tough times are making their way inward, people are preparing for armageddon. god forbid we feel the pinch the rest of the country has been dealing with for the last year or two. of course, if you ask, it’s all the new presidents fault. in one month he managed to screw everything up and spend all the money we had earmarked for cases of natty light. you wouldn’t think that in 2009 you’d still be hearing the ‘N’ word ad nauseum even in okietown, guess that’s what i get for trying to think. warn me against doing so in the future, please. have i mentioned that i hate people lately?

speaking hate and people, the old guy at work recently got a new cell. he was jazzed because it had a camera with zoom, and other amenities. it wasn’t until later that i found out why he was so happy. a few days after he showed me the phone, he showed me the first picture he took with it. it was a picture of some womans gentials. and it was a real picture, not a picture he took of a picture. and i didn’t even know he had a woman. later, in relaying the story, my boss and i were having a good laugh. she knew something about a girlfriend, but didn’t say. all she asked me was how old she was. i said something to the extent of “it was a picture of her snatch, how am i supposed to know? i didn’t count the rings”. it pretty much ended the conversation with a solid five minutes of laughing.

and more work. we have an independant third party inventory dork visiting every so often. i refer to him as ‘the weirdo’ or ‘the 45 year old virgin guy’. he’s just plain creepy. he always talks to himself, but not to anyone else. i’ve mentioned to more than one co-worker that he’s either a child molester or a big giant virgin. maybe he’s one of those guys who writes stalker fanletters to celebrities. i can see that. he’s always in the way, and the last time i saw him, he had his hair slicked back whilst unshaven. he looked like a fat chris lambert from highlander. not sure why he went the extra mile and slicked back his hair, but just have to assume he was trying to impress someone. he might have to hide his sailor moon fanfics first though, if he wants to lure some unsuspecting trim back to the batcave to rape and dismember.

i saw an eight year old counting calories on a candy package recently. her mother was next to her, telling her to stop it, and that it didn’t matter. it blows my mind that an eight year old would even consider something like that in something more than just a passing, idiotic thought. it’s not like she was pushing 500lbs at eight. this was a skinny little girl, who’s more than likely destined to sing ‘Rainy Days and Mondays’ at a child beauty pageant before she’ 12.

also lastly, because i’m a psycho, i’ve been super worried about diabetes lately. it seems like too many advertisments for diabetes have been attacking my senses the last month or so. it doesn’t help that i’m fat and my feet hurt. two things not mutually exclusive given that i stand for 10 hours a day i know, but in my brain, it doesnt’ take much. i could tie two things way more apart than those together to convince myself. the force is strong with my neurosis. and of course i’m still short of a straightjacket away from making me eat correctly. but… he’s watching me, i know it.